"Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again, I can't take the speed it's movin' in" ... "don't know how else to say it, I don't want to see my parents go, one generations length away from fightin life out on my own" ... "So scared of gettin older, I'm only good at bein young, so I play the numbers game to tell myself that to find a way to say that life's just begun" ... "Once in a while, when it's good and it feels like it should, and they're all still around and you're still safe and sound and you don't miss a thing till you cry when you're drivin away in the dark singin stop this train"
I really feel like this a lot at this point in life. There are definitely exciting parts about life right now. The possibilities are exciting, but I seem to have a knack for getting stuck. And when I'm stuck and confused, my shared-John-Mayer-thoughts, along with others, creep into my brain. As friends are beginning careers, getting married, starting their own lives, etc, I feel like my train is just whizzing by and somehow I keep missing the important stops. Up through college my train was just cruisin along and I was enjoying the ride, but now I keep thinking, uh oh, 3 years have gone by and I still don't have any direction as to where my "adult life" should or is going.
I'm trying reeeeaaaalllllly hard to keep perspective. Life is good and has purpose regardless of what "direction" you think you have. I have this belief that I have to DO something with my life when really, living life, you naturally do SOMETHING. I can't let myself get down because I'm not traveling the world or working to combat world hunger or something.
I have to remind myself of such a majority of the world who live life just living life. Just look at people in more impoverished areas of the world; their purpose is to love those around them, provide for their families, and enjoy life. No person's life is more valuable than anyone else's. Everyone is in different situations in life, and we all must do what we are equipped to do, through talents, school, etc. Right now, I'm not in a situation where I can pack up my life and become the next Mother Teresa, but that doesn't make me any less valuable.
Every life has value and every person makes an impact regardless of where they are. While I'm here, I interact with friends, family, and strangers on a daily basis. Just think of It's a Wonderful Life. He thinks everyone's lives would be better if he was never born, and despite the simple life he is leading, he sees what an impact he made on so many lives just by being him. I'm not going to say I think an entire town would be vastly different if I didn't exist, but I have to remember that no matter where I am or what job I'm doing, I have a purpose. I may look at this time in my life as a transitionary period, but Transitions have purpose too. I see my life as meaningless right now, but when I really stop, pray, and think about it, being here for however long that may be, I get to spend time with people I love. Working at a coffee shop may not seem to make a difference, but who knows when a simple smile or a cheerful attitude will help someone's day be a little better. It sounds small, but Mother Teresa said "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."
Towards the end of Stop This Train the lyrics say "Had a talk with my old man said "help me understand" He said...Don't stop this train don't for a minute change the place you're in" I just have to remember not to think of this as transition. You can't live your life waiting for the next big thing to happen. Life is the big things and all the in between. Think of all the life I will waste if I just wait out the in betweens instead of living it up! Mother Teresa also said "Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier." So my challenge to myself and you guys too is to make that your purpose in life through the big milestone moments and all the in between.
Thanks Syd. That was really tender.
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